Peeves meets his match
by Mr.SillyMan
Summary: As Filch gets sick of Peeves, a Student from America tells him about his salvation from the poltergeist Also on HarryPotterFanFiction
1. Chapter 1

It was one of Hogwarts' worst years. The Chamber of Secrets was opened, but fortunately, Harry Potter closed it and killed Slytherin's monster. But now it was the end of the year, and everyone was outside playing, or just hanging out with friends,

All except one. A transfer student from New York who arrived in the middle of the year, and on his first day, in the great hall started screaming at breakfast because of the Hogwarts ghosts, his alibi for this that he never saw a ghost that did not want to talk to you, either they wanted to kill you, slime you, posses you, or something like that, well aside from a little green ghost named Slimer, who well slimed you just a little bit.

Naturally, Peeves was his enemy. And he actually managed to get along with Filch the caretaker, who most of the time, hated students, and he told Filch about the Ghostbusters.

Filch, who was bursting with joy at the thought of finally getting rid of that pesky poltergeist, went immediately to Dumbledore, who said he will go to New York after all the kids have gone home. 

At the Ghostbusters fire house, Egon, Venkmen, Ray, Winston, and Hoss(**the rookie)** were getting the paperwork done for their most recent save of New York from ghosts.

Then Peck came in.

"Have we been fired, Pecker?" Venkmen asked.

"No, your ghost shooters may not be fake electronic light shows, but if I find out one of you shot ONE person with it, I will see to it that whoever done it is thrown in jail for life, and the rest of you will be out of a job."

"What happens if you shoot someone with a proton stream?" Hoss asked.

"Try to imagine all life in your body exploding at the speed of light." Egon answered.

"Total Protonic Reversal." Ray added.

"Okay." Hoss said, figuring out that the early days never consisted of a bad lawsuit that was caused by that.

Pop,

An aged man popped out of nowhere, Causing the ghostbusters to go for their proton packs, Slimer to slime him since, well he slimes people who suprise him. and Peck to practically call for his arrest

"Not to worry, I am only a wizard from England who has a poltergeist problem, and I see that you have a ghost problem all of your own with that little ghost.

"There are several problems with your statement, 1, if you were human, then your molecules would be rearranged from travelling across time and space all the way here and 2 wizards do not, for a fact, exist and 3, how do you know about us if you are all the way in England, we haven't even gone county wide yet, and 4, Slimer is our pet!" Egon said.

"A student of Ichabod Crane Acadamy transferred to Hogwarts." Dumbledore said.

"Egon, how much of our job is not supposed to exist, this guy popped out of air and PKE meters show no paranormal readings." Winston said, to Egon while Ray, Venkman and Dumbledore were talking. "Besides, remember getting the Sandman, Chitulu, and the Boogyman, they were not supposed to exist. Wait a minuete, haven't we dealt with a witch before." Egon, realizing that WInston was right, "Yeah, I remember now, how did we forget about that." Dumbledore chuckled and said, "Yes, you have delt with a witch before, and she was a Death Eater who escaped to America, those who followed a dark wizard called Voldemort." Egon then asked how they all simply forgot about all this. "The American Magical Community Governing Body must have decided you knew too much on this, and used a memory charm on you, and obviously it worked untill now."

"So where is this place, and Winston, are you kidding, the Sandman is in that containment unit?" Hoss asked. "I'll tell you later." Winston replied.

"You will not need to worry about that, As I can just use side along apparation to it. Oh and this place has many ghosts, but I only need one taken care of, a Poltergeist named Peeves."

"And how long has this manifestation been around." Hoss asked

"Since about 993 A.D."

"I am sorry sir, but We have a post ghost disaster city to worry about, so we might not be able to get to it for a long time." Ray said.

"Me and Hoss could go." Winston said. "Leaving you guys to take care of the ghosts here and we can go to England.

"We need to be at full power just in case., We are on call still, we still need to get the Scoleri brothers." Egon said.

"Come on its only 2 not present, what could possible go wrong?" Winston said

"Fine, but be quick about it."

"Don't worry, what could possibly go wrong?" Hoss asked

Dumbledore used side-along apparation with Hoss and Winston, not a very easy task considering how heavy the proton packs were, but got them to Hogsmeade


	2. Chapter 2

When Dumbledore, Hoss, and Winston apparated to Hogsmeade. Winston was ready to puke his guts out, but Hoss thought it was much like the cross dimensional travel back at the New York public library, when they caught The Grey Lady. "There are many ghosts here; most of them we plan to keep. Here is a picture of Peeves." Dumbledore said, and gave Winston the picture. "Okay, so which area of the school is he in?" Winston asked.

"He is all over it; you may be here for a few days, or maybe a few hours." Dumbledore answered. "So, he's like Slimer?" Hoss asked. "If I knew who this Slimer was, I would answer." Dumbledore replied. When Winston and Hoss got to Hogwarts, they both knew this was not going to be like the other ghosts that they caught, since each of them normally stayed in one spot. "This Peeves will be a hard one to capture, we should split up." Winston said, but Hoss disagreed. "Are you kidding, without the Walkie-Talkies, we WILL get lost." Winston immediately agreed.

While they were looking for Peeves, Hoss had a bunch of new questions for Winston that he never thought of before, such as the original manifestation of Gozer, and about the Vigo painting in the firehouse.

"Gozer, as you know, is a Babylonian god who could use a destructor form, and apparently for each dimension he is in, he gets only one form, as Ray put it back in Central Park. When we were on top of the Shandor building back in 1984, something happened when our proton stream hit it. Then it told us to choose a form, and Venkmen told us to empty our heads and-"

"Let me guess, Ray thought of the Stay Put Marshmallow Man."

"Yes, he said it just popped in there. The he explained how he remembered sitting by the camp fire, roasting those marshmallows, telling spooky stories."

"Wow, are you serious?"

"Yeah. And as for Vigo, well back in the 17th century, he was a tyrant that well, out Heroded Herod-"

"Out Heroded Herod?"

"It's an expression. Herod was the biblical king who ordered all babies to be killed to prevent Jesus from doing what he did, and so to out Herod Herod means to be the worst tyrant ever, and that is what Vigo was. In fact he lived from 1505 to 1610."

"He hung in there."

"Old age did not kill him, he was poisoned, stabbed, shot, hung, stretched, disemboweled, and drawn and quartered."

"That won't feel good in the morning."

"And his last words were _Death is but a door, time is but a window. I'll be back."___

_"_So he did come back."

"Yup and-"

But before Winston finish the story, a ghost came out of the wall, and out of habit, both Winston and Hoss got their proton shooters out. But they quickly saw that it did not look like Peeves in the picture. "Hey, you ghost. Can you tell us where to find Peeves?" Winston asked. "I prefer Sir Nicholas de Mimsy-Porpington, if you don't mind, or as other students prefer, Nearly Headless Nick."

"How can you be nearly headless?" Hoss asked.

"Like this." Nick immediately grabbed his 'head' and pulled on it, showing how he was nearly headless. Both Hoss and Winston puked at this. "You had to ask." Winston said after they were done. Hoss just shrugged and said. "You were going to ask the same thing I bet."

"Now if you are wondering where Peeves is, all I can say are these two things. 1, you don't find Peeves, he finds you, and 2, how do you intend to capture him?"

"With these proton packs." Winston replied. "I highly doubt that works." Nick said. Hoss and Winston looked at each other and gave him a quick blast with the proton stream. "Okay, okay, it works. Well I must be off now." Nick left the area for reasons understandable. "Finally we meet a friendly ghost." Winston said. "We could have found friendlier." Hoss replied.

Peeves, who was spying on both of them since they entered Hogwarts, snuck up behind them and gave them both wedgies, the likes of which were never felt before. After the two were able to feel their butt again, they both took a look to see who did it, and it was who they were after. "Get him." Winston quickly said and before they could get a shot off, Peeves took off and led them to the stairs, which changed.

"Great, just great. Hoss, you are going to know how it felt to climb the Shandor Tower. Trust me, we will be taking breaks, especially with how those stairs move." Just then, an old woman came up behind them.

"Who are you two, and what are you doing in Hogwarts?" said the old lady.

"We are the Ghostbusters ma'am; we are here to get Peeves." Winston said.

"Are they finally here, McGonagall?" wheezed a man. The man, who looked like he was in his 60's, suddenly appeared, and when he saw the boys in grey immediately rejoiced. He was finally going to be rid of that pest. "Oh, thank God you finally came; you don't know how much it means to me to be finally rid of that obnoxious poltergeist." McGonagall was astounded that Filch was happy for once. "Is it possible to have the stairs not moving?" Winston asked. "No, it is not. Oh and be careful about the vanishing steps and do not go into the 3rd floor corridor." McGonagall warned them. "Why can't we go into the 3rd floor corridor?" asked Hoss. "Just don't." McGonagall replied.

So the Ghostbusters started going on the staircase after Peeves, where he was waiting for them at the entrance to the 3rd floor corridor. They both took a shot, but Peeves disappeared through the door to the other side. Hoss looked at Winston and said "Can't be that bad." Winston rolled his eyes and decided to go with him. When they got to the door, they found it was locked, but thought it was no match for the proton stream.

They both tried to destroy the door, but to no avail. "We can try crossing the streams." Hoss suggested. "Are you crazy? Don't you remember what happened when we did that? You should have seen the first time we did that. We got sued out of business because of the property damage it created, and who knows how much the magic in the air will affect it." Winston yelled. "But, we have no alternative, let's try it."

So Winston started shooting first, then switched off the cross stream governor. Then Hoss started shooting, then they brought the proton streams together, and slowly, the stream started to ball up, and just in time, they both turned off the stream and ducked to prevent a face full of a molecule exploding reaction.

A small opening was created, big enough to duck under and they both went in, only to run back out at what they saw, a giant 3 headed dog! "You and your bright ideas." Winston said to Hoss who just shrugged. Then Peeves came out of the doorway and went straight up to the Astronomy Tower.

When Hoss and Winston finally got up to the top of Hogwarts, they were ready to get Peeves. Winston took the first shot and Peeves barely dodged out of the beam's way. Then Hoss took another and the same thing happened. So Hoss shot to the left and Winston shot to the right, making it so that Peeves had nowhere to go.

Peeves tried to dodge it by going up, but Winston was one step ahead of him. His next proton shot finally got its mark, and so Peeves was caught in the streams. Then Hoss fired, and the capture stream started up. Winston got the trap out, and finally Peeves was captured.

"Finally, that ghost was trouble." Winston said. "Let's get Dumbledore and have him pay us, then get back to New York."

_THUD__, the sound was too familiar for Winston to not know who it was___

_"_ARE YOU KIDDING ME?" Winston exclaimed, "How many times do we have to make him into marshmallow cream before he stays that way?"


	3. Chapter 3

Winston and Hoss were looking off at the area in between the mountains, Hogsmeade(with very astounded residents) and Hogwarts, what they saw(and most of the surrounding area) was Stay Puft, AKA Gozer the destructor. "Hoss, "Winston said with a mix of bravery and panic in his voice. "Here is the plan, get Filch, McGonagall, and some other teacher, get 1 to go to the door of the astronomy room, another at the 5th floor, and another at the ground floor staircase, so that when I tell one to start firing, they can pass it on to the next teacher and so on, then go to the entrance and wait until you hear one of them to tell you to start firing, then, lay down your trap and when he falls, we finally won't have to deal with him anymore." Winston quickly explained. Hoss got out his trap and quickly looked at it, then Stay Puft, then Winston, then the trap and at Stay Puft and finally he said "There is no way in Hell that thing will fit in this trap." He said. "Yes he will, how the trap works is it shortens the ghost's molecules and makes it-" Whoa, whoa, whoa Wait minuete, ghosts have molecules?" Hoss asked. "I DON'T KNOW, I am just quoting Egon's theory, just go do it." Hoss knew there was no more time for this discussion.

When Hoss got to the bottom of the stairs, he saw Filch, McGonagall, and a greasy haired teacher; he told them the plan, and about Stay Puft. "Filch, did I not tell you how bad of an idea this was from that transfer American dolt, I knew these men were nothing but trouble when I heard about them-" Snape said, but Hoss quickly interrupted. "Just do what we say for now, and then you can question, okay?" Hoss quickly said.

"Fine, as I see as I am the youngest of this group, I shall go to the top-"

"JUST GET TO IT." Hoss yelled at him, getting impatient with this guy, who reminded him heavily of Walter Peck. The 2 teachers and Filch quickly got to their posts. When Hoss got to the entrance, he saw that it was raining heavily, and had quite a few lightning bolts. _'Hope one of those doesn't hit Winston.'_ Hoss thought to himself. Dumbledore came and asked him what this strange thing was. "To put it in a nutshell, our target practice." Hoss said, not wanting to explain such a long story 2 times in 5 minutes. Just then, they saw Stay Puft approach the building, and they saw a proton stream come down on him, obviously from Winston. Stay Puft let out a loud angry roar that he always saved for its most hated enemy, and started climbing the building.

"HOW THE HELL DOES THAT THING CLIMB SO WELL!" Winston said, annoyed that he has to deal with Gozer again for the 3rd time. He started shooting his proton beam at him, but it did not seem to any damage this time, would this be the Ghostbusters' last stand and Hogwarts's too? Whatever the case it was not a good one. When Stay Puft got to the 4th floor, Winston gave the okay to start the chain message. When Hoss heard it, he quickly ran outside, layed down his trap, and started firing at Stay Puft. Who was at the top of the building.

Stay Puft swatted at Winston when Hoss took the shot, and it made it miss Winston and instead, Stay Puft hit the trap in which Peeves was in, and he escaped, but Peeves was the least of their worries for now. Winston took a shot on Stay Puft right on the eye, which caused it a lot of pain, as it writhed in agony while a thick coat of marshmallow cream looking blood ran down his face. Stay Puft let go of the roof, and it went for a quick ride to the ground.

When Hoss saw that Stay Puft was falling, he did not like how it looked. "I hate this plan." he said. He then stopped the proton stream and opened the trap, and amazingly, Stay Puft actually shrunk to fit in it, but not before exploding into a gooey marshmallow mess and covering Hoss from head to toe with the stuff, and to see Gozer's true form, which to him, it looked like…a woman?, not what he thought it looked like. He went inside to see Peeves going to the dungeons and Winston shouting, "No time to celebrate Hoss, we got an escapee to account for!"

Peeves led the 2 into the potions room, with Snape quickly following. Hoss and Winston started blasting away at Peeves, but he kept moving out of the way, instead the proton stream kept hitting potions, causing Snape to yell at them, and Hoss, having enough of Walter Peck, told Snape, "Sir, we would love to aim carefully, but Winston and I really want to get out of here, and we need to be able to concentrate." And with that, he pinched the pressure point of Snape's neck and knocked him unconsious. And while that happened, Peeves managed to make Winston completely smash all of Snape's stock of potions. Then, Peeves went to the trophy room. "Quick bursts here, we don't want to destroy too much of these." Winston said. "Good idea, we don't want a few hundred years of this stuff going up in smoke." Hoss replied. "How do you know how long this place has been here?" Winston asked questioningly, "Read this trophy: it says _To Luthor Alredagoradon, for heroic deeds in the face of evil. Year 999." _Hoss said. "Naughty, Naughty, wee muggles have been. For they are not allowed in the castle." Peeves said trying to annoy them. "This poltergeist is just like Slimer." Winston said. "Except he doesn't eat everything in sight." Hoss replied. They got off a quick burst of the stream, which missed and hit a trophy; Hoss read the trophy to read which one they probably would have to replace, it said. _Tom Riddle: for special service to the school. Year 1935. _There was one next to it that said; _Harry Potter: special service to the school, year 1992. _Hoss was getting distracted by all these trophies, but Winston snapped him out of his trance, and then Peeves led the two outside, then to the forbidden forest. Hagrid saw them and came out of his hut. "You two must be those ghost catchers Filch was talking about, yeh know, ever since that American transfer came here and told him about you guys he has been awfully excited." Hoss was surprised to see such a big man, but nothing seemed to surprise Winston anymore, from Gozer to Wizards, nothing could seem to be shocking for Winston now. "Oh, and by the way, You may want to be careful of that forest, there's dodgy stuff in there." Hagrid warned them. "Like what?" Hoss asked. "Werewolves that don't go back human, and lots of other stuff." Hagrid told them. "Than you sir, but we handle weird stuff all the time." Winston said. "Nothing like the stuff in the forest." Hagrid said.

And so, Winston and Hoss went into the forest, and it was spooky, the last time Hoss felt this scared was on the Hotel Sedgwick's 13th floor. All of a sudden, 2 bright flashlights like bulbs were staring out at them. Then, it approached them with a loud roar that sounded like a car engine. "Is that a car?" Winston asked. "I think so." Hoss replied and stepped forward to take a better look at it. "Yep it is." And before either of them could say anything else, the car drove off, and what was now approaching them was a bunch of big spiders. "Not again." Hoss moaned. He had his fill of big spiders back at the said hotel's said floor, and he immediately started firing on them, but it was no use.

"Hey Winston?"

"Yeah?"

"RUN!"

They both starting running for the entrance for Hogwarts, and they both panicked so bad that they actually took different ways into the castle, and the spiders followed Hoss, for they smelled the gooey marshmallow cream on him. So when he got to the entrance, he asked a teacher if he could have a new set of cloths that were not baggy. "You may have to ask Dumbledore." The teacher said. So Hoss ran up to Dumbledore's office and asked him if he had any. "If you wish, I could just conjure it gone." He replied. "Will that work?" He asked. "It will work." Dumbledore replied.

"Okay, let's try it." Hoss said, and so Dumbledore used the cleaning charm, but nothing happened. "That may be because that kind of energy that that marshmallow monster released and spilt on you, how do you call it?"

"Parakenetic energy, either that or ectoplasmic residue, I am wondering how your ghosts don't leave a trail when they go through walls, we have never really seen a ghost do that." Hoss said.

"I am sorry, but I do not understand a word you just said." Dumbledore said,one of his eyebrow raised higher then the other one. "But, I can give you some cloths."

After Hoss changed cloths, he asked Dumbledore if he could apparated back to the firehouse and see if there was a way to change, Winston then came in, hearing the last of the conversation told him that in the initial manifestation of Gozer, when they had the marshmallow cream on them, they had to burn their uniforms because of a theory Egon had; The marshmallow cream was actually a huge amount of ectoplasm, that if left alone would most likely become animated and imitate the Ghostbusters. So Hoss threw his Ghostbusters suit in the fire, not a disappointment, for it still said **ROOKIE **from when Venkmen did want to refer to him by name, because of what happened to the last guy."Fitting, you having to shed your rookie clothing, the same way we had to, seems like baptism by fire." Winston said. "We all went through the same thing." He finished. "More like baptism by slimy goo." Hoss replied. So, they both set back out for the forest. When they got there, they managed to avoid the spiders, after a while they found Peeves.. Again, and they had to finish the fight.

Hoss started up the proton beam, and he hit Peeves, then Winston got a shot on him, and he got the trap out, opened it, and Peeves was caught. They then started to proceed back to the castle. When they got back, Dumbledore was standing there with a very angry looking man. "The Minister of Magic wants to have a word with you two." Dumbledore said


	4. Chapter 4

The long walk to Dumbledore's office took what Winston and Hoss thought forever, and when they all got there, Fudge was beat red, and when he spoke, he showed it. "WHAT THE BLOODY HELL IS GOING ON HERE?! I HAD PEOPLE APPARATING TO THE MINISTRY IN A PANIC ABOUT SOME WHITE GIANT! AND WHO IN MERLIN'S NAME ARE YOU TWO? Fudge raged, the lightning storm really reflected on his mood, because right when he started yelling, a lightning bolt hit right where the room was, but it was next to it, so it just hit the cobblestone ground on the grounds.

"Mr. Minister, We are the ghostbusters, and we were called from New York by Dumbledore to take care of the poltergeist Peeves. As for that White Giant, that was Gozer, in its manifestation of this etherial plane, a white marshmellow monster named Mr. Stay Puft, back in 1984, we were fighting gozer, and it told us to choose a form that would bring about the destruction of all mankind here, fortunately, Ray picked an easy form to kill, a previous form, such as a giant sloar would have been harder to get rid of. But as for why Gozer was here, it could be one of two reasons, either we caused it somehow, OR, someone summoned him onto this dimension and area." Fudge and Dumbledore did not really understand most of it and Fudge still wanted another explanation.

"Dumbledore, WHY ARE THEIR MUGGLES IN HOGWARTS?" Fudge then asked. "We needed to get rid of Peeves, and these men are the only way to do it." Then the door opened, and Snape came in, saying, Headmaster, are you sure that the only way to get rid of peeves would be to hire men, who deliberatly destroy an area, then capturing the ghost, for all we know their could be a hazardous gas in them, making us think that we will need them again, and also, they destroyed my stock, and knocked me out."Snape said.

"Mr. Zeddemore, Is this true?" Dumbledore asked

"Well, Brainless here also needed to include the fact that he almost got in the way of our stream, so we had to do something."

"Is it true?" Dumbledore asked, again.

"Yes, its true, this man has no brain" Hoss said. Remembering the story Ray told him about the meeting with the mayor, but Snape did not take so kindly that, he took out his wand, aimed it at Hoss, but Dumbledore stopped him with expelliarmus. "Well, that's what I heard." Hoss said.

"Dumbledore, take us all except for Snape to this location, and I want to know who they are." Fudge said.

Fudge, Dumbledore, Winston, and Hoss all apparated to the firehouse, Fudge told them they were getting their memories modified again.

"Sir, if you modify our memories it could cause us all to completly forget this job, and we would most likely be put into an asylum." Egon said.

"Oh, better then you knowing about us." Fudge said. Tensions were escalating at the firehouse, Slimer was about ready to attack Fudge, not something that Slimer normally gets ready for, he was probably the friendliest ghost possible, next to Casper. Peck silently snuck outside just in case, he knew about the wizards ever since the ghostbusters were after that witch who they were told was a Death Eater, even when the ghostbusters were mindwiped, his plan was that if the guys were mindwiped, go to the mayor with the video recordings of Dumbledore apparating at the firehouse, out of it, back to it, and using his magic there, and then, he would say it was an act of war, that the wizards were getting ready to attack all Non-magical people, not exactly a smart plan, but when has he ever come up with a good plan?

"Sir, if you mind wipe us, you will have to accept the fact that this world will be heading to a disaster of biblical proportions." Venkmen said. This got through to Fudge. "What do you mean, biblical?" he asked. "What he means is Old Testament, Minister, real wrath of God type stuff. fire and brimstone coming down from the skies. Rivers and seas boiling!" Ray said. "40 years of darkness, earthquakes, volcanoes." Egon said. "THE DEAD RISING FROM THE GRAVE!" Winston loudly said. "Human sacrifice, dogs and cats living together. MASS HYSTERIA! Venkmen said. "Enough, I get the point. So, what do you want me to do?" Fudge said and asked. "Explain why we where mind wiped the first time."

Fudge sighed deeply, and said "That Death Eater you killed, It was one of Voldemort's best supporters. The reason we mind wiped you was to protect you." He said. "Who's Voldemort?" Hoss asked, The question that was on everyone's mind." Dumbledore decided to explain that one. "Voldemort was a student of mine, who turned into the most evil wizard the wizarding race has ever faced, His first killing was in 1939, and that is the first confirmed, and his last was in 1980, it was because of a baby that he vanished, no one knows where he is now." He concluded. "Why has no one caputred him?" Egon asked. "That, no one knows, and before this meeting gets more complicated, We need to leave, and If you make an unbreakable vow to never talk about us with the Muggles, then, we will not mind wipe you." Fudge said.

"What's tha?" Venkmen asked

"To put it to it's basics, you break it, you die." Fudge said."Sir of all the things we have faced that try to kill us, we have only faced one wizard, so if we ever talk about wizards, first we will tell the public about the giant sloar, the chupacabra, Chtuhu, Dracula, The wolfman, the Sandman, and other supernatural monsters, then we will talk about the friendly wizards, who wanted help with a ghost." Ray said. "Fine" Fudge said. " We are trusting you with this, so don't go chatting away about us."

When Dumbledore and Fudge apparated back to England, Peck came back in, and got in alot of trouble, "Hey, do you clowns want to keep your job, then quit questioning my methods." He said.

Hoss and Winston realized they still needed to empty the traps, so they then went to do that.

For the rest of their lives, neither one of them said anything about the wizards to the general public.

* * *

><p><strong>AN, the witch that they are talking about is one of the episodes of the real ghostbusters cartoon**

**Well, end of the story, I do hope you guys had as much fun reading this as I had fun writing it.**


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